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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Dec 30, 2025

3,641

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

Going viral on WeChat:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

Just shared via WeChat:

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

Going bananas on Twitch:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

Breaking via Instagram:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

Trending via Pinterest:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Making waves on Discord:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

Just shared via Discord:

We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

2 months ago

0

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, at least this person has mastered one specific assumption 🤷‍♂️ Seems like the fetal position is their go-to move for any situation – who needs assumptions when you can just curl up into a ball and hope for the best? 🤣 #FetalPositionIsLife"

anxiety, anything, assume, except, fetal, fetal position, humor, i, position, relief, self-care, stress, stress relief

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

0

2 months ago

anger, call, coping, dark, dark humor, emotions, everything, frustration, good, humor, jokes, patience, people, sarcasm, self-control
Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

0

2 months ago

allowed, anger, day, days, difficult, difficult day, frustration, humor, i, myself, patience, people, remind, reminder, self-control, today, where
I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

0

2 months ago

age, age contrast, aging, back, citizen, contrast, heart, humor, kid, knees, self-deprecating, senior, youth
Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

0

2 months ago

active, call, calling, excuse, humor, i, missed, phone, response, saw, sorry, volcano
At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

0

2 months ago

booing, comedy, commentary, humor, literary, movie, prejudice, pride, Pride and Prejudice, satire, screen, social, social commentary, whenever
Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

0

2 months ago

boss, employee, employees, hierarchy, humor, joke, last, last name, management, name, office, office joke, should, take, workplace, workplace humor

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

45 shares on Instagram this month:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,970

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Making waves on WeChat:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Spotted on Threads:

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Breaking via WeChat:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Going viral on Reddit:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

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