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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

My toxic trait is thinking every inconvenience is the universe personally attacking me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

Going viral on Telegram:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Live now on Reddit:

If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

Live now on YouTube:

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

2 weeks ago

Witty quote about overthinking and stress, featuring playful, humorous text in a relaxed vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, at least this person has mastered one specific assumption 🤷‍♂️ Seems like the fetal position is their go-to move for any situation – who needs assumptions when you can just curl up into a ball and hope for the best? 🤣 #FetalPositionIsLife"

anxiety, anything, assume, except, fetal, fetal position, humor, i, position, relief, self-care, stress, stress relief

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on TikTok this month:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

34 shares on Facebook this month:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

74 shares on X this month:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I missed out on drowning tragically young in a suburban swimming pool.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,333

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

Making waves on Reddit:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Freshly posted on X:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Seen just now on Slack:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Trending via Instagram:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Shared recently on WeChat:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

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