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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,503

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

Just shared via Slack:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

Just shared via WeChat:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Live now on Slack:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

Just shared via Telegram:

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Breaking via YouTube:

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

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I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.
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Commentary:
"Who needs to chase pavements on a treadmill when you can chase dreams in real life? 🚶‍♂️💭 Keep on walking, and don't forget your destination is waiting for you outside the gym!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Threads this month:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

82 shares on Slack this month:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I woke up extra early today to get in as much ‘worrying about it being Monday tomorrow’ as possible.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,716

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I want Al to do my laundry and dishes so that I can do art and writing, not for Al to do my art and writing so that I can do my laundry and dishes.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Going viral on Facebook:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

Shared recently on Slack:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

Seen just now on Instagram:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Going viral on Facebook:

Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Just landed via Telegram:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

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