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Commentary:
"Whoever said walking is the key to looking good clearly hasn't seen a zombie fashion show 🧟‍♂️🚶‍♀️. Maybe the secret to fitness is in dancing like a thriller instead! 💃😆"

awful, fitness, healthy, humor, i, irony, walk, walking, zomby

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

0

2 months ago

always, communication, ever, humor, irony, meteor, meteorologist, meteorologists, observation, talking, weather
Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

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2 months ago

creek, feet, forgot, humor, less, life, lot, nature, outdoors, phone, relaxation, sucks, truck, unplugged
Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

0

2 months ago

better, better you than me, communication, complaining, everything, humor, keep, me, normalize, people, perspective, sarcasm, saying
Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

0

3 months ago

am, annoying, attitude, humor, i, just, permanence, personality, self-awareness, super, worry, yes
Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

0

2 months ago

cauliflower, dead, eye, food, humor, irony, joke, plant-based, ribs, taste, tell, vegan
Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

0

2 months ago

air, cleanliness, flu, hands, health, humor, love, relationship, wash

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on WeChat this month:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

83 shares on X this month:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Smithereens is the worst way to get blown.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I would prefer not to.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

Trending via Slack:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Just landed via Threads:

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

Going viral on YouTube:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Spotted on Instagram:

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Spotted on Twitch:

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨