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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡© has copied:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ί has downloaded:

Sure, you can invite more people to the plans we made 2 months ago. The more, the merrier. Also, I’m not going now.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¦ has copied:

Why’s it always β€œNYC smells like pee” and never β€œmy pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¦ has viewed:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡΄ has copied:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ό has shared:

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,420

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Going viral on Reddit:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Going viral on Instagram:

I am single, please disturb me!

Shared recently on WeChat:

The two most popular things to do on the internet are arguing about politics and looking at naked people. Million dollar website idea: combine both β€” naked people arguing about politics.

Making waves on Threads:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

Just shared via TikTok:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Breaking via Snapchat:

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

Spotted on Reddit:

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I was dropped as an adult.

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

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Commentary:
"Feeling buzzingly beautiful today, thanks to my new pollinator fan club! πŸŒΌπŸ¦‹πŸπŸ€£"

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Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

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Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on WeChat this month:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,654

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡― has viewed:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡· has shared:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡° has copied:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡³ has viewed:

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡¨ has shared:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ή has shared:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡· has viewed:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡² has viewed:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on Slack:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Spotted on Reddit:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Trending via Discord:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

Trending via Telegram:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Broadcasted on Threads:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Seen just now on Twitch:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

Just landed via Reddit:

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

Spotted on Snapchat:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

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