Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,380

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Seen just now on Discord:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Just landed via Threads:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Just shared via Twitch:

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Feeling buzzingly beautiful today, thanks to my new pollinator fan club! 🌼🦋🐝🤣"

around, bee, bees, butterfly, buzz, compliment, flattery, flower, humor, i, me, nature, playful, sorry, sweet, thought

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

0

2 months ago

cause, dating, doing, epidemic, humor, interaction, loneliness, male, male loneliness, proud, social, social interaction
Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

0

2 months ago

activity, celebration, eve, fun, fun activity, going, humor, i, just, kissing, me, midnight, new, New Year’s Eve, outside, scream, think, year’s
Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

0

2 months ago

before, born, comedy, conversation, disbelief, frustration, honesty, humor, irony, never, sarcasm, say, stupid, thought
Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

0

2 months ago

balance, days, even, feel, forget, getting, hectic, humor, life, life balance, lose, much, never, overwhelming, perspective, phone, phone time, priorities, relief, sight, stress, stress relief, things, time, weeks
Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

0

2 months ago

answer, before, clever, confusion, huh, humor, humorous, i, mindset, question, quick, quick response, repeat, response, sarcasm, say, sometimes, wit
They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

0

2 months ago

advice, diner, experience, food, going, humor, life, little, school, teach, weird

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Discord this month:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

94 shares on X this month:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

73 shares on X this month:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

54 shares on Discord this month:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Just shared via Telegram:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Going viral on YouTube:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Just shared via Reddit:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Just landed via X:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

Shared recently on X:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Live now on TikTok:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨