I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.