Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I’m running out of people I like.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,300

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

Trending via Snapchat:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Making waves on Twitch:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Spotted on WeChat:

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

Just shared via Telegram:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Going viral on Telegram:

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

Just shared via Facebook:

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Adulthood: where you've got a lotion for every motion! 🧴😅

adult, being, everyday, everyday life, humor, i, idea, life, lotion, skincare

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

4 months ago

ever, good, good news, humor, irony, negativity, news, withholding
Googling symptoms until you cry.

2 months ago

anxiety, cry, diagnosis, Googling, health, humor, internet, search, symptoms
Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

2 months ago

computing, hardware, help, humor, joke, let, me, pun, software, tech, tech joke, technology, turn
My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

2 months ago

daily, daily wear, everyday, expensive, fashion, glasses, humor, i, irony, most, self-deprecation, thing, toxic, toxic trait, trait, wear
They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

2 months ago

activity, creativity, fun, hobby, invention, leisure, patience, people, should, skills
Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

1 month ago

being, day, humor, Monday, record, week, worst, worst day

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on X this month:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

58 shares on Discord this month:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

22 shares on Discord this month:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Going viral on Instagram:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Spotted on YouTube:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Just landed via Slack:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Going viral on Facebook:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Shared recently on Twitch:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨