Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.
  • One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.
  • Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”
  • My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.
  • Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.
  • I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.