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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Pizza should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

356 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,625

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,625

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,385

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

Making waves on Reddit:

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

Seen just now on YouTube:

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

Spotted on X:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Seen just now on Slack:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

I hate texting. Just hunt me like an animal.

5 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why text when you can just unleash your inner tracker instead? 🐾🎯🐻

animal, communication, frustration, hate, humor, hunt, hunting, i, just, me, texting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

2 months ago

body, brain, humor, okay, sleep, sleepy, thinky, thoughts, time
The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

2 months ago

bullshit, grass, greener, humor, life, only, perspective, reality, side
Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

2 months ago

advice, culture, dua, Dua Lipa, games, humor, lipa, Luigi, Mario, platform, pop, pop culture, singer, video, video games
I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

2 months ago

anxiety, election, Google, googled, humor, i, just, need, over, politics, relief, symptoms
All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

2 months ago

cooking, enough, food, gazpacho, humor, joke, lazy, soup
She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

2 months ago

communication, conversation, flow, humor, idea, interruption, lightheartedness, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Threads this month:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

10 shares on Slack this month:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

70 shares on Slack this month:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

65 shares on Threads this month:

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so society can recalibrate.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Social Media Log 💫

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate texting. Just hunt me like an animal.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨