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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Is this simulation from Temu?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,068

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Just shared via Messenger:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Spotted on Instagram:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

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I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.
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Commentary:
That’s one way to call yourself a life coach in reverse! 😂🔄

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Threads this month:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

34 shares on Discord this month:

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

God bless the student essay that is so confused and rambling, there is zero chance that they used AI.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,016

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Spotted on YouTube:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Making waves on WeChat:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Shared recently on Telegram:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Making waves on Pinterest:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

Live now on WhatsApp:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Trending via Facebook:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

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