I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?