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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,343

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Spotted on X:

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Trending via Twitch:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Going bananas on X:

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Live now on Slack:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

I have information that will lead to where your hug is at.

5 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about tracking down a hug with witty humor.

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Commentary:
I'm on the case! Detective Hug is on the trail! 🕵️‍♂️🤗🔍

hug, humor, i, information, lead, playful, where, wordplay

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73 shares on Messenger this month:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

13 shares on Threads this month:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

Work is the worst video game ever.

97 shares on Threads this month:

My brain has too many tabs open.

85 shares on Slack this month:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I tried selling my soul to the devil, and he said no.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

Breaking via Instagram:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Just landed via Reddit:

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

Trending via Threads:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Spotted on Pinterest:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Trending via YouTube:

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have information that will lead to where your hug is at.

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have information that will lead to where your hug is at.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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