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Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the rare and elusive 'kids who listen' – quite the mythical creature indeed, rumored to be even more mysterious than a unicorn that pays its bills on time!"

creature, fantasy, humor, irony, kid, kids, listening, love, mythical, mythical creature, unicorn, vampire, werewolf

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

0

2 months ago

again, doing, drugs, health, humor, irony, mental, mental health, mindfulness, recreational, satire
I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

0

5 months ago

awkwardness, charm, dating, flirt, humor, i, ID, romance, seduction
One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

0

4 months ago

another, around, benefit, benefits, cat, confusion, creature, having, hear, middle, most, night, noise, pet, random, underrated
Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

0

2 months ago

cry, extra, hour, humor, over, reflection, think
My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

0

2 months ago

ask, child, children, delegation, different, example, helpful, helpfulness, humor, i, parenting, something
I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

0

2 months ago

conversation, dance, doing, end, end conversation, humor, i, interaction, just, Macarena, social, social interaction, start, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

75 shares on Discord this month:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

Living la vida taco!

62 shares on Threads this month:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Making waves on WeChat:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Just shared via X:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Trending via Discord:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

Making waves on TikTok:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

Freshly posted on X:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Making waves on WeChat:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨