Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,576

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

Making waves on TikTok:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

Spotted on Instagram:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Making waves on Discord:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Making waves on Slack:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

Just shared via Twitch:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Just landed via Instagram:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Trending via Telegram:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I'm just practicing for the Nap Olympics, gotta keep up my gold medal status! 😴😂🥇

2, 5, being, explain, humor, i, love, nap, Saturday, single

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

0

3 months ago

attitude, date, disrespect, expiration, forgiveness, forgot, grudges, humor, i, insult, memory, people, said, shit, think
Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

0

2 months ago

911, breathe, call, ever, exercise, hand, hill, quieter, raise, relatable, strangers, tried, walking
Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

0

2 months ago

art, beauty, body, butt, human, human butt, humor, natural, natural beauty, nature, sometimes, tree, trees, waterfall
Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

0

2 months ago

adult, functioning, humor, identity, interpretation, loose, welcome
Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, breast, breast milk, childhood, confession, conversation, drinking, drunk, humor, i, me, milk, mom, parent-child, talking, time
What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

0

2 months ago

activity, advice, climbing, humor, mountain, nonsense, outdoors, people, risk, understand

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Twitch this month:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

99 shares on X this month:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

93 shares on Slack this month:

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

A selfie only a mother could like.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Spotted on WeChat:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

Going viral on Reddit:

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Live now on X:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Spotted on Snapchat:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Live now on Twitch:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Just landed via Slack:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨