I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

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Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

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All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

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Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

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Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

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I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

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Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

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Just because talking is for you doesn’t mean that starting a podcast is.

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Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

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Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

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We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.