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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,701

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

Breaking via Threads:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Breaking via Facebook:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Spotted on WeChat:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

Making waves on TikTok:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

They should invent crushes that like you back.

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Looks like parenting is a team effort – you handle the intellect, I'll handle the aesthetics! 🤓👶🤪 #ParentingGoals"

humor, i, joke, kids, parenting, reason, relationship, stupid, ugly, why

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75 shares on Messenger this month:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

83 shares on Instagram this month:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

72 shares on Slack this month:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

22 shares on Threads this month:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

88 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

Live now on LinkedIn:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Going bananas on Reddit:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Just shared via Instagram:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

Spotted on X:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Trending via YouTube:

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

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Activity Log ✨

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

You are my favorite dirty thought.

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

You are my favorite dirty thought.

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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