Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,994

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Going bananas on Reddit:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Live now on WeChat:

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

Shared recently on Discord:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

Just landed via Discord:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

Seen just now on Reddit:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Breaking via Instagram:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Going bananas on Twitch:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like parenting is a team effort – you handle the intellect, I'll handle the aesthetics! 🤓👶🤪 #ParentingGoals"

humor, i, joke, kids, parenting, reason, relationship, stupid, ugly, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

0

2 months ago

advice, humor, i, irony, learn, learning, mistake, mistakes, people, self-reflection, wisdom
The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

0

2 months ago

age, chaplin, charlie, Charlie Chaplin, comedy, getting, getting older, humor, i, older, physical, physical comedy, walk, walking
Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

0

2 months ago

being, communication, couple, humor, marriage, married, means, relationships, rooms, shouting
You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

0

2 months ago

age, call, call recording, calls, data, digital, digital age, funny insult, humor, insult, joke, kind, person, recorded, recording, sarcasm, tech, tech joke, training, training data, used
For Halloween, I will be okay.

0

2 months ago

Halloween, holiday, humor, i, okay, reassurance
Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

0

2 months ago

diet, eat, food, humor, skinny, someone, still, trust

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Reddit this month:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

25 shares on Discord this month:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

57 shares on Discord this month:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

54 shares on Slack this month:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

51 shares on TikTok this month:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Trending via Slack:

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Breaking via Slack:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Trending via Threads:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Just landed via TikTok:

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

For Halloween, I will be okay.

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨