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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

427 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,696

Funny Quotes Topics

17,713

Funny Quotes Images

15,696

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,635

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Live now on LinkedIn:

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

Making waves on Instagram:

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

I miss when YouTubers would just record for, like, 20 minutes, and upload the whole thing completely unedited.

23 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the good old days of raw chaos and unintentional jump scares in every video! 🎥😂📼

20, content, content creation, creation, i, just, minutes, miss, nostalgia, online, online video, record, recording, thing, unedited, upload, video, whole, YouTuber

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

2 months ago

backup, before, brave, employment, fear, having, job, jobs, nothing, people, quit, risk, scared, work
If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

6 months ago

emotional, explode, explosion, humor, i, joke, mood, mood ring, personality, ring
I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

2 months ago

affection, cheeky, definitely, eyes, forehead, humor, humorist, i, playful, put, romantic, sarcasm, teasing, witty, wrinkles, WTF
What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

2 months ago

communication, efficiency, humor, k, language, ok, people, slang, texting, time, writing
I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

2 months ago

anything, decay, except, humor, i, indecision, laziness, life, procrastination, romanticize, self-deprecation
This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

2 months ago

best, fun, getting, having, humor, irony, job, leisure, life, me, sarcastic, thing, whole, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

97 shares on Slack this month:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

100 shares on TikTok this month:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I celebrate 4/20 on 1/5 because I know how to reduce fractions.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Going viral on Threads:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

Just landed via TikTok:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Just landed via Threads:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Type of hangover that makes you understand why normies spend $25 for a poor soul to bike a bagel to them.

Live now on Twitch:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Your phone is a casino designed to steal your time.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I miss when YouTubers would just record for, like, 20 minutes, and upload the whole thing completely unedited.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨