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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Never trust a wet fart.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,650

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Going bananas on Instagram:

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

Trending via Slack:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Spreading quickly via X:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Making waves on X:

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

Shared recently on X:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Going viral on Threads:

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Friendship: the longest-lasting Tupperware rental agreement! 🥳🥡🤣"

friendship, friendship humor, friendship loyalty, going, good, humor, i, keep, loyalty, storage, Tupperware

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

0

2 months ago

animals, ark, companionship, funny observation, humor, i, nature, Noah, observation, realization, realize
Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

0

2 months ago

comedy, crime, entertainment, health, helpful, humor, mental, mental health, mental wellness, music, music taste, playlist, should, Spotify, suggestions, swift, taste, taylor, therapy, top, true, true crime, wellness
I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

0

2 months ago

cake, carrot, cooking, dessert, eat, eating, food, healthy, healthy eating, humor, i, irony, later, need, vegetable, vegetables
Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, humor, irony, nostalgia, older, regret, sleep, young, youth
Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

0

2 months ago

charger, cleaning, cord, gadget, home, humor, hunger, irony, nothing, Roomba, technology
I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

0

2 months ago

aging, anything, average, confidence, consider, humor, i, myself, self-awareness, self-deprecating, well

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

66 shares on Discord this month:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

38 shares on Slack this month:

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Just shared via Slack:

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

Trending via Reddit:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Just shared via Facebook:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Seen just now on Threads:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨