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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

A haunted house, but it’s just all apps and websites where you got logged out but can’t remember your password.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,633

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

Spotted on Threads:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

Spotted on Reddit:

Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

Just landed via YouTube:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Just landed via Reddit:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Spotted on Reddit:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When they start offering booster shots for that, I’m signing up for a lifetime supply! 💉🤔😂"

health, humor, i, mental, mental health, need, overthinking, relief, stress, stress relief, vaccine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

0

2 months ago

art, critique, humor, meeting, office, oil, oil painting, painting, sarcasm
Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

0

2 months ago

attraction, cheeseburger, craving, crush, food, humor, humor quote, i, looks, love, romance, someone
Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

0

5 months ago

butterfly, crush, delusion, feeling, fun, having, just, literally
I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

0

2 months ago

challenge, clean, cleaning, expiration, food, fridge, fun, game, here, humor, i, kill, mystery, play
The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

0

2 months ago

afterlife, alive, avoid, devil, eternity, hell, humor, irony, spending, supernatural
I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

0

2 months ago

am, experience, gratitude, humor, i, irony, just, lesson, life, life lesson, need, perspective

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Messenger this month:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

94 shares on WeChat this month:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

43 shares on Slack this month:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

30 shares on Threads this month:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

Going viral on Reddit:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Just landed via WeChat:

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Going viral on Facebook:

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

Spotted on Facebook:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Broadcasted on Facebook:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Going viral on Slack:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨