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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

You’re never too old to shout, “Mooooo,” when you drive past some cows.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,625

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Just landed via TikTok:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Going viral on Telegram:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

Going viral on Slack:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Just shared via Messenger:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about fitting into pants with hope, humorous and relatable humor.

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Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal battle between us and our pants – may they always be on our side! 🤞👖 #PantsAdventures"

else, everyday, everyday life, everyone, fashion, fit, hope, humor, i, life, pants, put, still, struggle

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80 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Men are very good at being women lately.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

91 shares on TikTok this month:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Making waves on Twitch:

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Going viral on Discord:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man.

Just landed via X:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

Live now on Reddit:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

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Activity Log ✨

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

We are the last generation of programmers who know the deadly feeling of seeing the exact problem in our code, on Stack Overflow, with 0 answers.

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

We are the last generation of programmers who know the deadly feeling of seeing the exact problem in our code, on Stack Overflow, with 0 answers.

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨