Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

The week be like Mooonnnday, Tueeesday, Weeeeednesday, Thuuuuursday, FriSatSun

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,349

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Freshly posted on Threads:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Just shared via Reddit:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

Spotted on Threads:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Trending via Snapchat:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Making waves on Twitch:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Shared recently on Messenger:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Still waiting for my grocery store dance battle debut! 🛒🕺💃😂"

common, dance-off, expectation, going, humor, i, impromptu, interaction, social, social interaction, thought

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

0

2 months ago

catch, confidence, dating, flirt, fun, humor, me, never, relationship, romantic, single, too
My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

0

5 months ago

alone, behavior, Funny, funny behavior, humor, interaction, leaving, moved, only, people, regret, social, social interaction, suspicion, time, trust
I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

0

2 months ago

activity, adventure, curiosity, dinosaurs, even, exploration, fun, fun activity, humor, i, jurassic, Jurassic Park, park, risk, say, seen, visit
I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

0

2 months ago

am, bed, going, head, humor, i, idea, laying, Ozempic, reading, Santa, stoned, whisper
Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

0

2 months ago

activity, dancing, humor, line, line dancing, restroom, social, social activity, waiting, women
Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

0

2 months ago

clothes, exercise, hack, humor, life, life hack, piano, run, solution, space, storage, storage solution, treadmill

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Discord this month:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

27 shares on Telegram this month:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Spotted on Facebook:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

Seen just now on X:

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

Just landed via Discord:

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

Trending via WeChat:

I would like to thank everyone who destroyed me into the person I am today.

Seen just now on Threads:

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

Making waves on Threads:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Trending via YouTube:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Just shared via Telegram:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨