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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,966

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Going bananas on Slack:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

Trending via Facebook:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Spotted on Reddit:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

2 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Still waiting for my grocery store dance battle debut! 🛒🕺💃😂"

common, dance-off, expectation, going, humor, i, impromptu, interaction, social, social interaction, thought

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

4 months ago
challenge, crisis, daily, daily life, daily struggle, day, every, humor, life, life challenge, mid-day, mid-day crisis, mid-life, mid-life crisis, midday, midlife, something, struggle
Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

4 weeks ago
ad, ads, book, books, cool, entertainment, humor, media, reading
The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

1 month ago
billionaire, commentary, irony, much, nothing, people, satire, social, social commentary, too, too much, wealth
I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

4 weeks ago
favorite, favorite part, humor, i, interruption, music, over, restart, song, talk, talking
If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

1 month ago
bite, conflict, humor, mythology, question, transformation, vampire, zombie
All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

1 month ago
back, balcony, communication, country, decisions, fact, humor, i, people, speak, wrong

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

Seen just now on TikTok:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Seen just now on Slack:

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

Trending via WeChat:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Spotted on Slack:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Breaking via TikTok:

Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

I’d rather lose you than the argument.

You are the Monday of my life.

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I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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