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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

462 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,731

Funny Quotes Topics

17,753

Funny Quotes Images

15,731

Updated

Jan 14, 2026

Users Online

3,681

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Going viral on Threads:

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

Spotted on WeChat:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Seen just now on Slack:

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

Just shared via Discord:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Trending via Threads:

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

Just shared via TikTok:

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Making waves on X:

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.
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Commentary:
Oh, so you only accept societal insights if they come with a side of car karaoke vibes? 🚗🎤 Well, I guess that’s one way to take in the latest trends in between red lights and pit stops! Who knew the key to unraveling the mysteries of society lay in the backseat cupholder all along? 🤔📱 #CarConfessions

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Slack this month:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

57 shares on Discord this month:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

69 shares on WeChat this month:

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Fall fashion: where we all transform into stylish, toasty marshmallows!

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

462 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,731

Funny Quotes Topics

17,753

Funny Quotes Images

15,731

Updated

Jan 14, 2026

Users Online

3,717

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Just shared via Facebook:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Making waves on Instagram:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

Trending via YouTube:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Seen just now on Discord:

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

Live now on Reddit:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

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