Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,626

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

Trending via YouTube:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

Making waves on Twitch:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

Trending via Telegram:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

Just shared via Reddit:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Just landed via Slack:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Spotted on Slack:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Brace yourselves, I'm entering my "spicy enigma" phase! 🔥🤪

getting, hot, hotter, i, inform, just, plan, regret, weird

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

0

2 months ago

baby, candy, childhood, everyday, everyday humor, humor, irony, opposite, parenting, playful, putting, safety, sunscreen, taking, toddler
The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

0

2 months ago

autocorrect, death, died, humor, joke, man, peace, restaurant, wordplay
If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

0

2 months ago

communication, date, expectations, held, humor, i, men, only, pick, plans, power, relationships, reservation, reservations, uncertainty, whatever
“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

0

2 months ago

control, humor, impulse, just, password, security, self-control, too, wait, weakness
I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

0

2 weeks ago

again, communication, freaky, hate, humor, i, mood, mood shift, morning, night, pure, purity, reply, shift, shut, someone, something, still, sun, texting, vibe
Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

0

2 months ago

activity, biting, chew, dude, fun, night, pull, tonight, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

18 shares on TikTok this month:

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

10 shares on Discord this month:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

96 shares on X this month:

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

98 shares on X this month:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Breaking via Twitch:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

Just shared via TikTok:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

Making waves on Twitch:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

Broadcasted on X:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Just shared via TikTok:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Just landed via Discord:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Trending via Discord:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Just shared via X:

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨