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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Cats are the best authoritarians. You will do their bidding, and you will like it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,645

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

I am cassette tape years old.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Going viral on TikTok:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Freshly posted on X:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

Shared recently on Telegram:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

I remember sex. That was cool.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When memories of youth hit harder than my morning coffee ☕️😂🔥

cool, humor, i, memory, nostalgia, remember, sex

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

1 month ago

able, aging, body, change, humor, night, same, self-reflection, stay, stay up, used
If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

1 month ago

compliment, fog, funny moment, glasses, humor, me, moment, self-esteem
Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

5 months ago

2, awesome, Congress, country, ethic, humor, month, month off, most, people, sarcasm, taking, two week vacation, vacation, week, weeks, where, work, work ethic
Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

5 months ago

2, accidental, accidentally, humor, nature, secret, secrets, squirrel, supernatural, tree, wisdom
I need money, not feelings.

1 month ago

advice, feeling, financial, financial needs, humor, life, life advice, money, need, needs, priorities, sarcasm
Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

1 month ago

angel, beautiful, beauty, beer, compliment, drink, flight, humor, metaphor, observation, romance, seeing, take, woman

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Just shared via Facebook:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Just landed via Facebook:

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

Seen just now on Discord:

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

Making waves on Instagram:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Shared recently on Slack:

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

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Activity Log ✨

I remember sex. That was cool.

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

I need money, not feelings.

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The older I get, no.

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

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I remember sex. That was cool.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

I need money, not feelings.

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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