Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.
  • “Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.
  • In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.
  • “Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.
  • I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.
  • When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”