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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2268 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,430

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,430

2 hours ago

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

The future is buffering.

Spotted on WeChat:

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

Making waves on TikTok:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Trending via Snapchat:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Just landed via Telegram:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Spotted on Slack:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

Spotted on Messenger:

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

Just landed via Telegram:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Live now on Threads:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Jan 21, 2025

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a Monday blues when you can have the Wednesday wet whiskers vibe? 🌧️😼 Just lounging by the window, contemplating life's mysteries and pondering where you left your last sunbeam. Work schmirk, rain purrrfection! 😆"

cat, day, daydreaming, humor, i, leisure, rainy, stare, window, work

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2268 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,430

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,430

2 hours ago

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Trending via WeChat:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Making waves on Discord:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Going viral on TikTok:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Going viral on Threads:

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Making waves on Messenger:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

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