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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1779 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,941

Funny Quotes Topics

14,751

Funny Quotes Images

11,941

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

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Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Just shared via Telegram:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Just landed via TikTok:

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

Going viral on Threads:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

Trending via Telegram:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Going viral on WeChat:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Trending via Reddit:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs soap when you have a boyfriend, right? 😆🚿 Apparently, love really is the best cleanser! #RelationshipGoals"

activity, boyfriend, breasts, clean, fun, fun activity, humor, i, intimacy, never, shower, showered

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

3 weeks ago
Share → : The pointless tidy-up before a play date.
2 weeks ago
Share → : My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.
6 months ago
Share → : I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.
3 weeks ago
Share → : I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.
4 months ago
Share → : Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.
2 months ago
Share → : I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.
6 months ago
Share → : I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.
6 months ago
Share → : I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Spotted on YouTube:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Trending via Facebook:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Live now on YouTube:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Breaking via Slack:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

Drilling for oil is well boring.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

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I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

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