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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,467

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

Just shared via WeChat:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

Live now on Discord:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

Spotted on Facebook:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Trending via Twitch:

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

Making waves on X:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

Freshly posted on X:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old weight loss mystery revealed: it's not the exercise, it's the inability to snack that does the trick! 🤔🍔💪 Who knew the real workout was resisting temptation. 😆 #FitnessHumor"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on TikTok this month:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

84 shares on YouTube this month:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

89 shares on Discord this month:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

15 shares on Slack this month:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,500

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Just landed via Reddit:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Live now on Instagram:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Trending via X:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Trending via Reddit:

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

Just shared via Messenger:

“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

Just landed via Facebook:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

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