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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,547

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Just shared via WeChat:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Going viral on Messenger:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

Just landed via Twitch:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Live now on LinkedIn:

October is the situationship of months. So briefly beautiful, but you know the horrors are imminent.

Trending via Discord:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Breaking via TikTok:

Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

Just landed via Messenger:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

Just landed via Messenger:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Flaplines: the only flight that comes with its own wind machine! ✈️🦅

airplane, aviation, bird, cooler, flight, flying, humor, i, think, whimsical, wings

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

0

2 months ago

chore, cooking, dishes, eating, food, humor, kitchen, making, meal, struggle, time
I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

0

2 months ago

daily, daily life, disappointment, everyday, house, humor, i, life, mean, mirror, self-image, self-reflection
Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

0

2 months ago

artificial, artificial intelligence, before, development, humor, intelligence, irony, natural, natural intelligence, should, technology
Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

0

2 months ago

chilling, classroom, first grade, funny moment, grade, just, kid, memory, moment, nowhere, remember, school, throw, throw up
I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

0

2 months ago

activity, birdwatching, crisis, escape, gone, hobby, humor, midlife, nature, straight
I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

0

2 months ago

anti-virus, computer, humor, i, joke, just, next, sneeze, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Facebook this month:

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

76 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

59 shares on Threads this month:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

37 shares on Discord this month:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

28 shares on Slack this month:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Trending via Twitch:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Going viral on WeChat:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Live now on Reddit:

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Going viral on Twitch:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Spotted on WeChat:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨