Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

No open job postings for “Warrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,371

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

Going viral on WeChat:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Going viral on X:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

Trending via Pinterest:

You’re my least favourite notification.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Just landed via Facebook:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Just shared via YouTube:

Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

Witty quote about fashion humorously suggesting buying the modeled body along with new clothes.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the 'buy one, get one body free' deal! 🛍️💃 Who wouldn't love to upgrade their wardrobe *and* their figure in one go? 😄💁‍♂️ #FashionForwardThinking"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on TikTok this month:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

48 shares on Threads this month:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

75 shares on Slack this month:

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

75 shares on Threads this month:

The shitshow must go on.

10 shares on Threads this month:

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,641

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Trending via Snapchat:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Spotted on Instagram:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

Making waves on Threads:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

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