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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

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17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,575

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Making waves on Discord:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Live now on Instagram:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

Going viral on YouTube:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Live now on Snapchat:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Freshly posted on Discord:

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

3 weeks ago

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Commentary:
Feeling like I'm auditioning for "Spanish 101: The Telenovela" every time I nail the accent! 🎭😂 #AllInThePronunciation

accent, better, correct, feel, getting, hangup, humor, i, language, language learning, learning, me, racism, racist, Spanish, speaking, think

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17 shares on Facebook this month:

Is there a job where I can lay on the floor and listen to music?

11 shares on YouTube this month:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

60 shares on Reddit this month:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

54 shares on Threads this month:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

94 shares on Discord this month:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

The hardest part of corporate life is pretending to care about things that don’t matter.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Going viral on Messenger:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Breaking via Messenger:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Live now on Facebook:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Going bananas on Discord:

There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

Just shared via X:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Don’t study, get slutty!

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Don’t study, get slutty!

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨