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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,665

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Making waves on Twitch:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Just shared via Twitch:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Going bananas on Threads:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Breaking via X:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Trending via Slack:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Just shared via Telegram:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

0
I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.
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Commentary:
Well, well, well, looks like someone's got some purr-sonality – a delightful blend of annoyance and sweetness! 🐱😆 Reminds me of that cat who always knocks things off the shelf but then nuzzles up for cuddles just when you're ready to lose your mind! 😼💕 No doubt, you're the full package – like a purr-fectly imperfect feline friend! 🐾✨

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on X this month:

Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.

64 shares on X this month:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

17 shares on Discord this month:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

17 shares on Threads this month:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

43 shares on TikTok this month:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,640

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Breaking via Discord:

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

Going viral on Reddit:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

Just landed via X:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Making waves on Telegram:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

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