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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,271

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

Seen just now on Threads:

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Spotted on WeChat:

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Freshly posted on YouTube:

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Just landed via Twitch:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

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I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.
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Commentary:
Looks like my flaws have some serious boundary issues! 🤣🚫💔

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on WeChat this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

81 shares on Threads this month:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

52 shares on Slack this month:

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

That one British friend that’s too bloke.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,605

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

Making waves on WeChat:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Trending via Threads:

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

Spotted on X:

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Spotted on Twitch:

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Trending via WhatsApp:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

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