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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

Iโ€™m the ick in fantastic.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ has bookmarked:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

Weird. Iโ€™m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

A lot of y’all donโ€™t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has bookmarked:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ซ has copied:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

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Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person whoโ€™s house youโ€™re in.

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Like most people my age, I’m 50.

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I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

Commentary:
Looks like my flaws have some serious boundary issues! ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿ’”

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

If youโ€™re 20, please stop saying youโ€™re tired. I have bananas older than you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ซ has shared:

People will be like โ€œthere is no right or wrong way to do itโ€ until you do it the wrong way.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡พ has viewed:

I hate when people stare at me and donโ€™t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didnโ€™t help recharging the batteries.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

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I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.