Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who knew the scariest creatures weren't lurking under the bed, but hiding behind those fake smiles all along? 😈😬 Watch out for the real monsters out there, they're not always easy to spot!"

bed, childhood, fake, humor, i, know, monsters, people, perception, smiles, today, truth, used

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

0

2 months ago

band, favorite, font, heavy, heavy metal, Helvetica, humor, joke, metal, sounds, typography
Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

0

4 days ago

air, attention, awkward, bashful, blinking, dirt, getting, gun, humor, interaction, shoe, shooting, shy, social, social interaction
Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

0

5 months ago

confusion, everyone, humor, i, kiss, kisses, love, question, relationship, where
Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

0

1 month ago

being, broke, hatred, humor, i, just, money, motivation, nothing, passion, pure, work
I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

0

6 months ago

animal, animal behavior, behavior, bumblebee, convinced, cute, cuteness, fluffiness, fluffy, humor, myself, persuasion, self, self persuasion, sting, too
If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

0

2 months ago

awkward, health, help, humor, jokes, mental, mental health, mental health humor, need, professional, professional help, thinking, thoughts

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Instagram this month:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

92 shares on X this month:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Shared recently on Slack:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

Trending via Messenger:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

Trending via Facebook:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Just shared via Twitch:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Just shared via Slack:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Seen just now on Threads:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨