Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who's the real genius here? 😹🍕 Always keep your eyes peeled, you never know when that pizza delivery bird might show up! 🍕🕊️ #PizzaLovers"

birds, cat, dumb, flew, food, humor, i, ID, observation, occasionally, pet, pizza, stare, staring, think, too, used, waiting, window

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

0

2 months ago

backyard, body, cops, crime, dark, dark humor, deception, digging, ever, guy, humor, police, reputation, sarcasm
Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

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2 months ago

biome, care, carpet, cleaning, home, home care, humor, i, micro, micro biome, natural, never, procrastination, vacuuming
I think my soulmate might be carbs.

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2 months ago

addiction, carb, craving, food, humor, i, love, relationship, soulmate, think
I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

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2 months ago

always, communication, honesty, humor, i, intention, loud, mean, out loud, say
Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

0

2 months ago

ahead, everyone, handle, health, humor, insomnia, mental, mental health, night, overthinking, procrastination, self-awareness, sleep, stay
My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

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2 months ago

beautiful, coffee, coffee mug, gift, humor, interpretation, me, mom, much, mug, own, read, sarcasm, self-acceptance, too, trying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

56 shares on WeChat this month:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

88 shares on X this month:

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

No amount of daylight can save us.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

Going viral on Discord:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Seen just now on Slack:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Going viral on Telegram:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Making waves on YouTube:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Just landed via TikTok:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Seen just now on X:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Breaking via Discord:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Going viral on Telegram:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨