Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who's the real genius here? 😹🍕 Always keep your eyes peeled, you never know when that pizza delivery bird might show up! 🍕🕊️ #PizzaLovers"

birds, cat, dumb, flew, food, humor, i, ID, observation, occasionally, pet, pizza, stare, staring, think, too, used, waiting, window

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

1 month ago
adventure, course, day, full, full moon, going, half, humor, i, ID, logic, love, moon, point, space, trip
As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

1 month ago
age, comedy, dwarf, humor, life, life stages, older, personality, self-reflection, stages, wisdom
The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

1 month ago
celebration, Christmas, Christmas tree, decoration, festive, holiday, humor, joke, lot, sense, tree, year, year round
If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

2 months ago
forever, humor, love, nothing, proposal, relationship, wit
Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

1 month ago
beat, distraction, humor, internet, net, procrastination, sleep, surfing, trying
The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

1 month ago
difference, hummingbird, humor, knows, lyrics, music, songbird

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

Going bananas on Threads:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Making waves on TikTok:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

You should be allowed to call out of work if you have a really bad nightmare.

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

Beginning of August is always wild because it’s peak summertime, but the veil is so thin, like it’s Halloween.

A gentleman opens doors and brings flowers. A man smacks your ass and pulls your hair. A soulmate does both.

The shitshow must go on.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I need a massage for my brain.

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏