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Commentary:
"Who's the real genius here? 😹🍕 Always keep your eyes peeled, you never know when that pizza delivery bird might show up! 🍕🕊️ #PizzaLovers"

birds, cat, dumb, flew, food, humor, i, ID, observation, occasionally, pet, pizza, stare, staring, think, too, used, waiting, window

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Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Threads this month:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

The amount of people who “find God” after doing something evil needs to be studied.

31 shares on Slack this month:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

96 shares on Discord this month:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

15 shares on Slack this month:

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

21 shares on Slack this month:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Nothing makes you regret an outfit choice faster than when you see teens looking at you and whispering.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

Trending via Snapchat:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Just landed via Facebook:

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

Spotted on X:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

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Activity Log ✨

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Keep the laugh going 😂

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨