Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • “I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.
  • Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.
  • I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.
  • Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.
  • Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.
  • I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.