Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t have any rizz but I do have snacks in my purse.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,313

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

Just landed via Discord:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Just shared via X:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

Seen just now on Slack:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Making waves on WeChat:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

1 month ago

Witty quote about romantic humor and playful obsession with a tall, affectionate partner.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looking for someone who loses more air than a leaky balloon every time I walk by 😂💨❤️

breathe, breathlessness, existence, humor, i, ignore, love, lovey-dovey, man, marriage, marry, masculine, relationship, tall, tall man

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Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Slack this month:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

54 shares on Instagram this month:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

70 shares on Discord this month:

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Trending via Facebook:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Seen just now on X:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Trending via X:

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

Shared recently on Discord:

Making things weird is probably the only thing I’m good at.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

wearing no bra and oversized clothes is self-care at its finest

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

wearing no bra and oversized clothes is self-care at its finest

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨