Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Trending via TikTok:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Just shared via Pinterest:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Trending via WeChat:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Spotted on Telegram:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Live now on Reddit:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Spotted on Reddit:

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Time to skip straight to the napping championships at 2 p.m. every day! 💤🏅😴

2, afternoon, am, bedtime, day, fatigue, i, sleep, tired, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, diarrhea, escape, escape room, funny situation, humor, joke, room, situation, unexpected, urgency
Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

0

2 months ago

battery, hack, humor, knee, life, life hack, remote, science, slap, technology, TV
Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

0

3 months ago

anger, frustration, give, humor, joke, just, me, minute, rage, rage room, relief, room, stress, stress relief
When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

0

2 months ago

commitment, expectations, harbor, humor, i, know, marriage, relationship, surprise, turned, warship
January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

0

2 months ago

episode, humor, January, mood, schizophrenic, winter
If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

0

2 months ago

alone, bad, bored, boredom, company, friendship, fun, humor, interaction, self-reflection, social, social interaction

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

22 shares on Slack this month:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

46 shares on Slack this month:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

For Halloween, I will be okay.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Just landed via Discord:

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

Breaking via WeChat:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Spotted on Slack:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Going viral on YouTube:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Making waves on Instagram:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨