Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Just because talking is for you doesn’t mean that starting a podcast is.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,267

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Just landed via Reddit:

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Spotted on Messenger:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Trending via TikTok:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Pizza should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Going viral on YouTube:

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

Funny quote about aspiring wealth and modest living in a one-bedroom apartment.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, yes, the luxury of generational wealth: a whole bedroom *and* a window! 💸🛌🚪

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on X this month:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

27 shares on Discord this month:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

74 shares on Discord this month:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

86 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

95 shares on X this month:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,328

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Everyone is getting idioter.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Making waves on Slack:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

Going viral on Instagram:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Going bananas on Instagram:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Just landed via Threads:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

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