Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,406

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Your birthday as an adult mainly consists of texting back ‘Thanks!’ to people you haven’t talked to in 5 years.

Just landed via Instagram:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Trending via Twitch:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Just shared via Messenger:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Hey, at least Siri's got your "Hey!" covered! Now, if only humans came with built-in neon lights… 😂💡

assistant, communication, humor, i, light, light up, say, Siri, someone, technology, voice, voice assistant, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

2 months ago

brain, expectations, humor, i, imagination, love, relationship, romance, romantic, scenario, script
There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

3 months ago

animal, desert, end, horse, humor, joke, name, naming, through, travel
At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

3 months ago

bible, drugs, humor, interpretation, irony, point, religion, sell, single, tell
I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

2 months ago

character, dismay, dismayed, fairy, fairy tale, hear, humor, i, idea, outside, Rumpelstiltskin, story, surprise, tale, work
How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

3 months ago

actually, adult, adult content, age, content, found, humor, innocence, love, old, people, porn, realization, relationship
When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

2 months ago

adulting, anxiety, bills, finance, Halloween, hear, horror, humor, i, responsibility, thing, think, word

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Instagram this month:

The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

97 shares on Threads this month:

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

10 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Just shared via WeChat:

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

Making waves on Discord:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Spotted on Snapchat:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Just shared via Discord:

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

Spotted on Threads:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Trending via Telegram:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨