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🔇 "I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb" – a sentiment many of us can relate to! 🚫🔔 Who needs interruptions when you're busy binge-watching your favorite show or enjoying a peaceful nap? 🛌 Let's all petition for a universal "life on do not disturb" button! 😉

distraction, disturb, do not disturb, focus, humor, i, life, peace, put, whole, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

1 month ago
cool, cool evening, emotional, emotional tension, evening, everyone, humor, interaction, irony, just, lot, man, otherwise, resentment, sarcasm, social, social interaction, tension
The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

1 month ago
furniture, guy, having, home, IKEA, problems
I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

1 month ago
am, exaggeration, humor, i, joke, late, late night, million, night, procrastination, staying, staying up, time, tonight
Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

2 months ago
boob, boobs, communication, creativity, describe, humor, picture, visual
There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

1 month ago
clutter, days, drive, drive by, everyday, everyday life, funny observation, having, house, humor, i, just, life, live, living, never, observation, sale, tell, yard, yard sale
I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

1 month ago
consumption, couple, days, dish, food, humor, i, last, mayo, much, potato, potato salad, salad, side, side dish, summer, sweating

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Shared recently on Discord:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Just shared via Messenger:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Just shared via Slack:

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Eating watermelon and minding my own business.

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

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I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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