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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,522

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

The absolute hottest thing you can do in front of a woman is tame a horse, but unfortunately, modern life affords us little opportunities for that.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

Making waves on TikTok:

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

Breaking via Telegram:

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

Live now on Snapchat:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Spotted on Slack:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

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I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.
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Commentary:
🔇 "I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb" – a sentiment many of us can relate to! 🚫🔔 Who needs interruptions when you're busy binge-watching your favorite show or enjoying a peaceful nap? 🛌 Let's all petition for a universal "life on do not disturb" button! 😉

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Threads this month:

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

13 shares on Threads this month:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

94 shares on Threads this month:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,700

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

Making waves on X:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Making waves on Reddit:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Breaking via Telegram:

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Just shared via Telegram:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

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