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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,608

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Spotted on Threads:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Seen just now on YouTube:

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

Going bananas on Twitch:

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

Just shared via Threads:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

Broadcasted on Slack:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

Live now on Twitch:

Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

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I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.
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Commentary:
Now that’s camp—serving looks and getting sacrificed to the fashion gods 🔥👠🌋

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

83 shares on Threads this month:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

47 shares on Slack this month:

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

80 shares on Threads this month:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

People never run off to join the circus anymore.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,672

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Trending via Messenger:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Just landed via Discord:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Making waves on Facebook:

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

Spotted on Facebook:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

Live now on YouTube:

Airports are the perfect place to see people who are experiencing their first day on Earth.

Going bananas on Discord:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Making waves on Telegram:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

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