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Commentary:
"Oh, the ultimate twist in spa history! The massage therapist becoming the massagee 🤣💆‍♂️ Who knew self-care could involve such a role reversal! #MassageTherapistGoals"

after, humor, ID, joke, massage, masseuse, minutes, okay, relaxation, selfish, terrible, turn

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

0

2 months ago

crypto, daddy, dilemma, dumb, finance, going, good, honesty, honesty dilemma, humor, influencer, me, media, people, personal, personal struggle, scam, shy, shyness, social, social media, struggle, sugar, sugar daddy, too, work
If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

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2 months ago

humor, love, me, partnership, relationship, rivalry, sleeping, wordplay
If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

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2 months ago

activity, belly, belly button, brain, button, humor, nose, push, quirky, same, screenshot, silly, time
Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

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2 months ago

another, dating, fear, heartbreak, humor, love, pointless, relationship, sarcasm, scared, single
I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

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2 months ago

humor, i, irony, joke, mad, madness, mind, mind reader, psychic, reader, wit
Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

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2 months ago

battle, challenges, club, conflict, fight, fight club, fighting, humor, know, life, life challenges, rule, rules, secrecy, struggles

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Reddit this month:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

37 shares on YouTube this month:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

62 shares on Threads this month:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Live now on Telegram:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Live now on TikTok:

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

Just landed via X:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

Live now on WeChat:

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

Spotted on Threads:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Just shared via TikTok:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Just landed via Instagram:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

Just landed via Reddit:

A haunted house, but it’s just you inside your own head.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨