Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"If at first you don't succeed, it's only attempted murder… of your goals! 🔪🙅‍♂️ Keep pursuing success with determination, not crime! 💪😂"

attempt, failure, humor, irony, joke, murder, only, success

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on TikTok this month:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

87 shares on Discord this month:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

21 shares on Threads this month:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Making waves on Facebook:

Home is where the clothes rack stands in the way.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Just shared via Facebook:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

Shared recently on Twitch:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror films to relax the viewer before sleeping.

Just shared via Reddit:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Just landed via Facebook:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Relationship status: he escaped.

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Relationship status: he escaped.

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨