Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Put him in a snow globe and shake away! Just make sure he doesn't turn into a snowman ⛄️. Love is a whirlwind, but maybe not that literally! 🤣💑"

boyfriend, globe, hard, humor, i, ID, imagination, playful, put, relationship, shake, snow, snow globe

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

0

2 months ago

30, 30-30, 30-30 rule, after, avoid, balance, burnout, disappear, escape, humor, job, minutes, mountain, quit, relief, retirement, rule, stress, stress relief, work, work life, work-life balance
Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

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2 months ago

back, digital, digital footprint, embarrassment, footprint, God, humor, media, nostalgia, oh, online, online embarrassment, past, past posts, posts, privacy, share, social, social media, social media humor, somebody, something, sometimes, think, timeline
Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

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2 months ago

avoidance, cardio, count, exercise, fitness, humor, problems, running
The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

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2 months ago

annoyance, crazy, day, discomfort, driving, except, hair, humor, inside, me, pea, princess, rogue, shirt
No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

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2 months ago

anything, comfort, comfortable, humor, just, kid, mom, need, needs, parenting, sat, sudden
I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

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3 months ago

AI, brushing, brushing teeth, conservation, corporation, environment, faucet, humor, i, ruin, spend, teeth, turning, water, water conservation, while

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Making waves on X:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Shared recently on YouTube:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

Trending via Instagram:

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

Trending via Telegram:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Trending via Reddit:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨