Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,254

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Just landed via X:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Live now on Twitch:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Just landed via Twitch:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Just landed via WeChat:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

Just landed via Telegram:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Just landed via X:

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

If I unsubscribe from your email list, I definitely do not need you to send a follow-up email to confirm.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When I say "unsubscribe," I mean it like "no more emails," not like "send me one more for old times' sake." 📬🙅‍♂️🚫

annoyance, confirm, confirmation, definitely, email, email list, email marketing, follow up, follow-up email, humor, i, list, marketing, need, send, unsubscribe

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

0

2 months ago

dress, girl, girls, happier, happiness, pocket, pockets, science
I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, coffee, doctor, sugar, vodka
We’ve got a shituation here.

0

2 months ago

comedy, got, here, humor, humor quote, humorous, situation, witty
I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, always, humor, i, irony, knife, me, preparedness, run, someone, spoon
No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

0

2 months ago

confidence, downfall, humor, i, involvement, longer, prayer, praying, sarcasm, teasing
I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

0

2 months ago

achievement, age, aging, am, balance, climbing, comedy, confidence, daily, daily life, feeling, good, got, here, humor, humor about aging, i, leg, life, life perspective, losing, myself, people, perspective, relatability, self-deprecation, skydiving, through, underwear

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Messenger this month:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

45 shares on X this month:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

46 shares on WeChat this month:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Just shared via YouTube:

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Trending via Reddit:

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

Just shared via YouTube:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I unsubscribe from your email list, I definitely do not need you to send a follow-up email to confirm.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

We’ve got a shituation here.

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨