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I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

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People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

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Meow means woof in cat.

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Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

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“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

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Iโ€™m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

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This is an awful time to be an educated person.

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I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

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Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

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Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

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If I were you, I would rather be me.

If I were you, I would rather be me.

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