If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

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Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

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Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

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Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

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For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

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Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

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I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

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I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.