Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Just landed via TikTok:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Going viral on WeChat:

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

Spotted on Instagram:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Going viral on Pinterest:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Live now on Discord:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"With all these 'workouts,' I must be on the cover of Stress Vogue soon! 😅🧘‍♀️💥"

calory, comedy, dieting, fitness, humor, ID, joke, stress, supermodel, weight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

0

2 months ago

aspiration, grow, grow up, humor, idea, kid, kids, love, tell
I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

0

2 months ago

hair, humor, i, Medusa, mythology, night, sound, wonder
One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

0

4 months ago

disappointment, expectation, humor, most, severe, things, thunderstorm, warning, weather
I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

0

2 months ago

activity, adventure, build, coming, fun, fun activity, high, high seas, humor, invitation, pirate, sailing, seas, ship
No email needs to tell me not to reply.

0

2 months ago

communication, email, humor, message, reply, tech, tell, work
One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, changes, day, excited, excitement, fridge, fun, life, life changes, next, organized, transition, young, youth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Facebook this month:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

30 shares on Slack this month:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

40 shares on X this month:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

81 shares on Threads this month:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

Trending via Pinterest:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

Just landed via YouTube:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Just landed via Telegram:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Going bananas on TikTok:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

Live now on Telegram:

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

Making waves on Facebook:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨