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Ah, the invisible force field of personal space in the check out line! 🙅‍♂️🛒 Just remember, if you cozy up too close, you might end up involuntarily sponsoring someone's grocery run! 😂💸 #NeedMySpace

awkward, awkward situation, breathing, check, checkout, checkout line, close, humor, interaction, line, me, neck, pay, personal, personal space, sarcasm, shopping, situation, social, social interaction, space, stand, stuff, too, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

1 month ago
addiction, choices, having, health, hierarchy, humor, irony, just, life, life choices, Maslow, new, nicotine, psychology, reason
Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

2 months ago
bathroom, cleaning, cockroach, domestic, domestic life, everything, humor, husband, kitchen, life, prank, relationship, thought, today, yesterday
My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

1 month ago
adulthood, best, buying, dinner, friend, house, humor, i, lifestyle, marriage, married, popcorn, priorities
I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

1 month ago
awkward, bark, embarrassment, forgot, humor, i, intimacy, joke, mess, moan, self-deprecating, sex, sexual, sexual humor
My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

1 month ago
addiction, book, book fair, buying, childhood, fair, humor, i, need, nostalgia, school, spending, things, unnecessary
An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

1 month ago
adult, adult humor, adults, advent, advent calendar, anxiety, anxiety relief, calendar, countdown, different, door, every, festive, festive fun, fun, funny gift, gift, health, holiday, holiday stress, humor, kind, medication, mental, mental health, relief, stress

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

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Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

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Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Trending via Slack:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Just landed via Facebook:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

Live now on Snapchat:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Making waves on Discord:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Just landed via Twitch:

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

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Activity Log ✨

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

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If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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