Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs horsepower when you can have lunch power? 🚚🍔 Trade in your sports car for a food truck and win hearts with every meal! 🏎️❌🌮 #StreetEats"

better, car, date, food, food truck, humor, impress, me, preference, truck, vehicle, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

0

2 months ago

challenges, cowshed, humor, life, metaphor, next, perspective, step, struggle, turd
I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

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5 months ago

awkward, awkward silence, care, communication, conversation, humor, i, interaction, introvert, silence, small, small talk, social, social interaction, talk
My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

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2 months ago

boredom, boring, humor, quit, self-deprecation, shadow, too
The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

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2 months ago

brella, creation, going, hesitation, humor, inventor, naming, umbrella, wordplay
The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

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2 months ago

anxiety, day, day terror, fear, half, humor, me, much, night, night terror, nightmare, sarcasm, scare, terror, terrors
Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

0

5 months ago

attitude, business, communication, humor, i, none, oh, privacy, sarcasm, secret, tell

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s crazy that things have got to a point where you can say, “Jurassic Park 3 is one of the better movies in the series.”

43 shares on Reddit this month:

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

14 shares on Twitch this month:

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

51 shares on X this month:

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

82 shares on Messenger this month:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Spotted on X:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

Going viral on Discord:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Broadcasted on X:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Spotted on Messenger:

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨